Lionheart Grief Coaching

And How to Take Care of Yourself in the Aftermath

In the Celtic tradition of Samhain (pronounced ‘SAH-win’), on the date when the night was equal in length to the day, it was believed to be a holy time when the spirit world and our physical were close enough to touch. Much like Samhain, the holidays represent a “thin space,” where our memories of past joy are equal to our current sorrow. 

The interplay between joy and grief during this time is particularly intense for this reason. While this sense is incredibly strong for those who are grieving, not everyone will recognize this time as a thin space. This season feels no different to those who either do not have strong memories of joy, lack someone to grieve, or simply are disassociated from their emotions.

“I don’t think we realize that grief and joy live together. Because deep grief comes from holes that were carved from joy. And when we touch base with joy, sometimes grief shows up too.”

Tory Eletto

The dissonance you may have experienced over the holidays with your family members or friends can be attributed to this. Their lack of understanding and awareness of your experience is not a reflection on your process. Instead, it is their own blockage that prevents them from truly seeing.

It is painful to move through this season of joy and grief just holding our own memories. We add to our suffering when we exhaust ourselves attempting to explain or help our loved ones see our pain or feel their own.

As we move into the new year, we may have experienced a drop off in the burden of our memories. Perhaps it has increased, now that we have less need to carry others with us in our grief. One of the important ways we can lessen the weight is to decide that we will no longer attempt to explain our sorrow to those we love who cannot see and simply do the monumental task of holding our own grief well. Beloved- our own grief is enough to carry without trying to hold everyone else’s, too.

The new year is also a time of wintering. Like the earth, we can hunker our bodies down, stay warm, and nourish our hearts with tenderness and rest while we wait for new growth to spring from our hearts.