Lionheart Grief Coaching

We can be very critical of ourselves when we’re experiencing complex emotions or aren’t in full control of our tears. 

In grief, our reactions to ourselves can be harsher than usual because we feel out of control more frequently. 

None of us can change the first reaction we have to ourselves, but we can give our more compassionate side a chance to catch up. We do this by pausing, reflecting, and responding:

Pause– for many of us, our first pass at self-talk comes from a critical place. Instead of moving from one judgment to the next, take a breath and pause.

Reflect– Ask yourself, “why am I having this reaction right now?” Try to do this from a place of compassion towards self.

Respond– An example might be, “I’m crying in aisle 5 because my loved one enjoyed these cookies and I don’t need to buy them anymore. I really miss them right now.” 

If you don’t have an answer, that’s ok! You can still respond to yourself with compassion by saying, “I’m feeling this way and I’m not sure why, but it’s ok. I’m allowed to feel x right now.”

Pausing, reflecting, and responding allows us to tell ourselves a kinder, more truthful story about what we’re experiencing.

Let me know in the comments how this lands with you. Have you tried it? What did you uncover?