Lionheart Grief Coaching

The earthquake in Turkey and Syria that has killed more than 40,000 people can leave you feeling hopeless, sad, and alone. There is a lot of suffering in the world and for many, it’s easy to look away. Looking away offers our minds and bodies the ability to self-protect. Our survival-minded brains think, “If we don’t see suffering, perhaps it won’t exist at all.” This is magical thinking and as much as we want it to, it doesn’t work.

Unfortunately, not being willing to look at suffering in the world or in our communities does not mean we will not be faced with suffering either now or in the future. Of course we will, but when we run away from the pain and suffering that is happening around us, we limit our ability to live well.

In Buddhist tradition, there is a concept called upekkah or equanimity. It’s the ability to keep our eyes fixed on the world both in the good and bad. Unlike many new-age interpretations upekkah is not about being aloof or coldly detached, but embracing our reality with wisdom and love.

Megan Devine in her book It’s Ok That You’re Not Ok” explains it best,

“How can I keep my gaze steady on that which cannot be fixed?

Love with open hands, with an open heart, knowing what is given to you will die. It will change. Love anyway. You will witness incredible pain in this life. Love anyway. Find a way to live here, beside that knowledge. Include that knowledge. Love through that. Be willing to not turn away from the pain of this world- pain in yourself or in others.”

The beauty of upekkah is that when we keep our eyes fixed on the world around us without shying away from the pain, we have an opportunity to love anyway. We know it is only a matter of time before we lose those we love to death and we love anyway, without a doubt more intentionally and fully.

So as this tragedy continues to unfold, embrace the wisdom of upekkah and love anyway.